Huh, I missed the annoucement. Great news. Thanks Sue and the rest of the Trouts.
First, I’d like to thank my sponsors… Beer and pizza. My kids Lily and Ewan. Tim-Berners Lee for inventing the http protocol that made websites like this possible. Steve Jobs for inventing the mac I’m typing this on.
The fine folks over at… oh heck, I’m just not as good at rambling as the oscar winners are
I’m terrified of the penis. If one looks at me I can’t resist it’s draw and I must have it. Which is why I hate seeing other men in spandex, and why I never wear it myself for fear someone might be drawn to mine.
in a world with just baggies rides would be so much less fun there would be no delieverence style hillbillies yelling at you while they blare country 101…matting the pedal and covering you in exhaust… no one would throw stuff at you.
no teenage girls to yell nice “insert non-family site words” at you
imagine all the self esteem that could be lost or developed
a necessary evil is perhaps the best way to describe the spandex. you are not going to go out on a road ride in the baggys and when the temps soar it feels about a hundred times more comfortable without the second layer. but the best part of the mighty tighty’s is when they are worn by a fit and trim member of the other team, batter up!
Spandex is only cool when seting a human powered vehicle land speed record. Other than that, it is pointless in comparison to the great public-wearable alternatives that don’t reveal anatomical defects or a lack of girth. Also notice the increase in stank when sporting Spandex and other yet-to-be-proven “technical” tight, (ill), fitting cycling apparel. I can rock my baggy shorts for a week of commuting and a few trail rides and no real issue. However, my Spandex jersies and shorts are usually a one-shot deal.
Also note the posers in full team kit. They only look cool to other weight weenies. Which is great, if you like the opinion of a gramiphobe. But, as weird as it might seem, girls don’t seem to appreciate your legs, no matter how huge, when there is nary a hairy nor are you sporting baggy shorting torso.
Keep in mind that I wear plastic outers and hi-vis most days on the road. So my opine seems a biased one. The only other stuff I wear is baggy freeride stuff with the odd XC jersy for good measure.
So, I will conclude with-
Guys, no Spandex.
Girls, you may decide for yourselves. Just a note that when I first met my wife, she would ride with a skort. Uber hot. In a cute feminine way.
I would have to disagree with the leg comment Aaron.
I think my shaven legs look sexy as hell, and when I pull on my PedalTrout team kit I feel like a real superhero.
Sure I don’t have an accessory belt like Batman, or a cool cape like Superman but when I put the hammer down my aero and form fitting spandex allows me to cruise along as fast as I can with out fear of geeting my shorts caught on the saddle as I sprint for the next power pole.
On a side note one of my favorite things to do here in “The Hills” is to ride down to the garage where I get my car fixed dressed in my super hero gear, and clak into a bay where all the manly men are spitting and talking about engines and watch them become very uncomfortable with their sexuality. Try that in baggies!!